book hack

Mating in Captivity

Esther Perel

5 mins

3 key insights

Visual, audio & text

Mating in Captivity explains the barriers that can kill sexual desire in our domesticated society, and what you and your spouse can do to remove them, allowing for better emotional and physical intimacy.


Mating in Captivity

Mating in Captivity

by Esther Perel


Remember when you first met your partner? How jittery and excited you felt to be with them? Each new milestone like the first kiss and the first 'I love you' brought so much joy and passion. But then you moved in together, and the novelty kind of wore off. Add a stressful work life and maybe some kids, and you'll notice your priorities shift. You're emotionally connected, but you don't have much time and energy for physical connection.

Most of us come to terms with the fact that you can't keep the passion fire going forever, but psychotherapist Esther Perel says it doesn't have to be this way. It is possible to keep the passion and eroticism alive in a long-term relationship. But it takes some work.

In her book, Mating In Captivity: In Search of Erotic Intelligence, Perel condenses her 20 years of experience to teach couples the formula for keeping sexual passion alive. You don't need to resign yourself to a lackluster sex life. With her help, you can find ways to become vulnerable with your partner, and enjoy exciting and fulfilling intimacy for the rest of your life.

Favorite quote

Love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life: time. Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the beginning.

- Esther Perel

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